Herein is a comprehensive list of all Witch's Brew cast members (we're going to define a 'cast member' as a character who has appeared in at least two Brews, so... deal with it). Cast members are listed in order of first appearance. If I missed any important characters, let me know. Unimportant ones too, I suppose, as long as they meet the strict requirements. Unnamed characters will be given names by us.
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Rip Originally created by Paul for his comic miniseries "Jury Duty", Rip is one of the first regular cast members of the Brew. Contrary to popular belief, Rip is not a man buried underground, but in fact is the tombstone (and maybe some of the ground, it's hard to tell sometimes). Rip currently lives in Colmha.
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Link The Hero of Time, Winds, Bafmodads, and who-knows-what-else. Fights Ganon sometimes. Eastmost peninsula is the secret.
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iPod The iPod would never have been the phenomenal success at taking over the world that it was without the help of the humble Pikachu. What, you thought the first Witch's Brew episode was made up?? Shows just how stupid you are.
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Walter If there was any one character that embodied the Witch's Brew, it would have to be Walter. Created by accident in Robo Daemons, Walter soon became a mainstay in many a Brew, and has more appearances than any other character. Walter is best known for his unchanging facial expression and propensity to burst into flames. Also he drives crappy cars.
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The Salesman The Salesman sells things. Things which are for sale. His turf appears to include door-to-door and the subconscious. |
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Cthulu Boy Sometimes all a young Cthulu wants to do is stop and smell the flowers. |
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Gas Can Cthulu Boy's friend, the Gas Can is mostly along for the ride. Its connection with The Flowers is unclear at this point. |
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Godzilla Long-time resident of Tokyo, Japan. Strangely, Godzilla has not yet picked up the Japanese language.
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Keanu Reeves Mr. Reeves has the fine distinction of being the first celebrity to appear on Witch's Brew. We here at the Brew are amazed that his frequent walk-ons have no mention at all on his IMDB page, but I guess not all websites can be as extensive or informative as ours. Keanu Reeves is well-known for being generally inept at everything except being a damn fine actor.
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John Basedow A creepy self-proclaimed "fitness celebrity" found on late-night infomercials, John Basedow strives to make fitness simple, and also be evil. His abs creep us all out to no end. Sworn enemy of Twenty Bees Man (according to us).
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Matt (Paul) Paul's character in the cult classic "Hand Of No Return", Matt has shown up along with his buddy Phil in many a comic. He's probably the voice of reason, but reason rarely makes an appearance in any of our creations.
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Phil (Geoff) With Matt around, Phil (played by Geoff) is generally soon to follow. He has the power of flight! That do anything for ya?
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Don Hand Former vice principal of Los Gatos High School (his real-life exploits were documented in the student film "Hand Of No Return", mysteriously available nowhere), Don Hand appears to have taken to menial work in the Underworld. Someone's gotta file and collate down there, I suppose.
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Seven Years Later It's a well-known fact that, when time passes in a movie, that span of time should be no more and no less than seven years. Anything other than seven years later is either too little or too much time for events of significance to have occurred.
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Billy Everyone always looks back with fondness at their childhood, as it was a more innocent time. This is not the case for little Billy. |
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Mr. Arzt Well-renowned art teacher at an all-bird art school. Very critical of his students' work, but to be fair, his students totally suck at art. |
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John Ashcroft
A boring guy.
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Cast of You Got Served Y'all suckas got served!
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Gaptooth Normal-type. Learns "Complain" at level 5. No known evolution capabilities. |
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Urge Apparently the defunct soft drink "Surge" went by different names in other countries. Also, apparently Urge holds press conferences in modern-day Soviet Russia. |
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Phase II You always gotta have a contingency plan. If it involves dropping giant AOL CDs and question marks on major cities, you get bonus points. From God. |
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The Anti-Phase II Army
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Frodo Baggins Smallish hobbit from The Shire. Threw a ring into a volcano, and now everyone thinks he soooo cooooool. Pff, I could do that. Hell, I could throw way bigger things into a volcano. Where's my recognition?!?
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God Homer Simpson's favorite fictional character. Sometimes black.
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William Shatner Known as Captain James Tiberius Kirk to his friends. Seriously, if you walk up to him and call him Captain Kirk, he'll totally buy you a beer and not punch you in the face.
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Spider-Man Does whatever a spider can. I guess one thing spiders can apparently do is be all emo.
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The Red Guy Talented motorcycle racer. Would never throw a race, even for a really nice coffee mug.
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